Today’s Dare: “Talk with your spouse about establishing healthy rules of engagement. If your mate is not ready for this, then write out your own personal rules to “fight” by. Resolve to abide by them when the next disagreement occurs. ” (The Love Dare, 64.)
WOW! I am late! I will take my morning and evening update and combine them into one post today. It’s been a busy day which involved me being pulled into every direction, from the time I woke up this morning until now. Even now, I am finding it challenging to get a moment of peace. Every five seconds, somebody needs me!! SO–I will be pretty quick, but hopefully thorough.
Currently, we do not have rules to fight by. I have tried to bring up things that my honey does that isn’t necessarily fair–but it seems to make fights worse–and I did not want to fight today. Sometimes, it is better to let sleeping dogs lie–and a hibernating issue is better left untouched right now. I may not be fair while we fight. I can get pretty down-right mean and insulting. I am good at it–but I shouldn’t really be proud of it. I can spew a fitting insult faster than the speed of light. It fits and is perfect to any occasion. At the time, I feel pretty good….then, when I cool down, I usually feel like a pretty big A-hole. It matched–yes, but it didn’t make it right in all aspects of the situation.
My new rules to fight fair, that I promise to myself and to God to abide to:
- No name calling.
- No past issues
- No yelling
- No bringing up personal issues that cannot be helped or fixed
My grandparents were married more than 50 years–but they fought like cats and dogs–most of the days that I would see them. It may have been “their way”–but I absorbed a lot of the insulting ways. I wasn’t raised by them, but I was around them a lot. I grew up in a loving household with many family and friends over a lot. We had happy holidays and traditions and I grew up with the understanding that family is everything–so why am I so mean? I think i was ‘harshened’ by the world over the past 20 years. Unless I got the snippy grandmother gene. HA!
I will work on these things and my temper. My blood boils from 0 to 1000000000 in about 1 second. If it instantly pisses me off, I instantly fume words. It is what it is, but it can be changed. I am a reactive and anxious person who will stand up for myself, my family, and my friends in a second, regardless of what others may think. I mean well–I am misunderstood….by many. So, because so many misunderstand me, I have a theory that I am the minority and they are all correct. I know I react from my heart–but the way in which I do so needs adaptions. Its not the fact THAT I react, but the WAY in which I do so.
I hope you all have a great night. Tomorrow is Monday, so I will be in here in the morning for sure!
Thank you for reading and I will talk to you then!!
Have a great night!!